Baby, PCOS

One and Done?

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Any moms on the “one and done” committee?  For those who don’t know what that is, it’s when you have had one baby or child and make the choice to close up shop for good.

I find myself tip-toeing in and out of it every few weeks. Growing up and throughout college, I always envisioned myself with the husband, great career, gorgeous home, and two kids.  I’m also the oldest of four kids and it was fun growing up with siblings so, I wanted the same thing for my future babies.

Fast forward to last year when I peed on a stick and found out I was pregnant two weeks before my wedding day!  We were beyond excited (and a teeny bit nervous).  My journey with PCOS had been long and trying on and off for over ten years.  While one of my prayers was to find healing and be in optimal health, I really, really wanted to have a healthy baby naturally.  For it to have actually happened, was very surreal!

About 7 weeks into the pregnancy, the slight stomach bug feeling I had initially turned into full-fledged all day sickness.  I’m talking about throwing up, gagging at different smells, unable to drink water, or even swallow my own spit.  I had to hold my breath when going into the kitchen because I could smell the metal in the sink and the toaster oven, and it would send me into the bathroom dry heaving…..the worst!! I tried every remedy you could think of.  Some worked for a short time while others seemed to make me feel ten times worse.

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This went on for the entire 8 months of my pregnancy on top of working full-time.  I tried to remain grateful because I really was but, it really was rough physically and emotionally.  I thank God for my beautiful little boy and when I look at him how could I not want another one! He really is a miracle and what I needed at this time.  When I think about getting pregnant again though and potentially experiencing the same thing, I don’t know if I have it in me.

Maybe if I do not have to work full-time and I could comfortably afford to stay home longer than the four months I had with Benjamin, I might entertain the idea. Other days, visions of a cute, little girl run around in my head. Ultimately, if it’s God’s will then it will happen.  Only time will tell.

Are you a part of the “one and done crew”? If it was a conscious decision, what made you decide to stop at one?