Advice to My Younger Self

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Ever since watching the Black Girls Rock awards show on BET back in 2011, I’ve made it a habit to do something every year that has helped me in more ways than one. Along with the major style and hair inspiration I got, one of the highlights for me was when Tatyana Ali (you may remember her as Ashley from the show, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air), received the ‘Young, Gifted and Black’ award.  During her acceptance speech, she read a letter that she wrote to her younger self. If you didn’t see it, click here.

It was a beautiful letter which prompted me to write my own letter to my younger self that day and I have been doing it every year since then.

I usually jot it down in my journal and it feels like therapy for me without the bill at the end. Anyway, here it goes:

Dear Candice,

God really has your back! Learn how to have a real relationship with Him.  When you focus on Him, everything else really does fall into place.  It is the starting point to learning how to truly love yourself and others, and be better equipped to recognize what real love is when it presents itself.

The right man will come along, and he will know how to respect and love you in all of the ways you ever imagined.  Just be patient and know that he will come. In the meantime, you may come across some ‘frogs’. Take it as a learning experience that will help you to recognize and appreciate the one who God has sent.

When he comes you will know and there won’t be any second-guessing.

Surround yourself with people who are ambitious, encouraging and have your best interest at heart.  Having a great “team”, no matter how small, is  one of the keys to a successful life.  With positive and inspiring people around you, you will be able to accomplish anything.

Learn to love your big hair, slender frame, high forehead and reserved demeanor.  It is what makes you Candice. One day you will want all of that hair and slender frame back. Lol!

Get to know you and what it is to truly love yourself. 

Safeguard your body and your mind. I really can’t stress this enough. These are the two components that make up your very existence.  Be very mindful of who you give your body to and who you allow to influence your mind. 

Not everyone who comes willing is worthy.  Once they have misused these two things, your spirit will forever be changed.

Save your money, learn all you can about investing, and don’t be afraid to ask for the salary you want! Every once in a while, buy those fly shoes, and go on vacations.

Be confident in your abilities and talents, learn from your mistakes, learn how to forgive yourself and others, and always strive to fulfill all of wildest dreams.  There may be some dark days when it feels like the world is on your shoulders but know that things always get better if you have faith and persevere until the end. 

You were created for a special purpose;  carry yourself as such every day.  Don’t sweat the small stuff (and trust me, most of it is small stuff). Lastly, have fun and make the most of each day!


Your 39 year-old happily married, mommy of one, fully chasing big goals self

What advice would you give to your younger self?